ok. first of all - nice to hear your voice. 2.- no mention of rimm lights,i'm disappointed. :)
so you want it to be more dark and scary right? because i have a design for a character that i've made which would be awesome for it. but it doesn't fit in the scary category. i can send it over so you see.
i like the idea, a lot of work though. i think you need to work on the 'sharp object' part of it all. it's not clear-what is the sharp object? why does he have it? why is it affecting the creatures in the first place if they are shadows? maybe if you use something from the train itself..or something that appears in the 1. scene while he's still at the boring-old-work and takes home for no reason (which he finds useful in the train scene).
the ending - where do we see the blood? on the train or on him somewhere? i don't know about the ending. i would do something like - he blinks a couple of times and while he blinks the train cart is switching from shadow creatures scene to empty cart to full cart and it's switching back and forth so it becomes really hectic at one point. and then - everything stops and he sees the world as it is in reality, but he's the only one freaking out and everyone else is still the same and just riding the train not caring (as it usually is in subways) + then you have kind of a visually rounded story. and then you have the getting off the train with the blood thing. i don't know. i would do it like that. everything is kind of normal and he thinks he was imagining everything but in the final scene we found out that it isn't. sorry if this is too much. of course you don't have to take everything into consideration if you don't want..AT ALL ! :)
i got inspired by your voice and just started writing hahahaha :D
I agree with Kate's ending :-) Also when you pitch your story its a bit of an indication of the length so try to time it when you tell the story...draw stick man and place it in premiere so you have an animatic. :-) I was fun just watching you talk like ur sitting infront of us again, we should all make a live action blog ;)
In reality he is killing the people in the train but because he is alucinating (too much work fucks your mind) he sees shadowy, misty creatures. when he slices them the creatures just disapper like smoke, mist. I took Kates idea about her character beeing an animal, into thought and why not make everyone animal??? like Comic Blacksad?!?!? What do you think? I mean they wont have any big animation. they will be mostly be still. The reason for this is maybe makes the story more interesting. I mean now that I think of it with humans looks a bit dull. Tell me what you think.
mmm... interesting... can i ask for a pdf?? XD
ReplyDeleteI think it definitely needs a rim light..
ReplyDeleteok. first of all - nice to hear your voice.
ReplyDelete2.- no mention of rimm lights,i'm disappointed.
:)
so you want it to be more dark and scary right? because i have a design for a character that i've made which would be awesome for it. but it doesn't fit in the scary category. i can send it over so you see.
i like the idea, a lot of work though. i think you need to work on the 'sharp object' part of it all. it's not clear-what is the sharp object? why does he have it? why is it affecting the creatures in the first place if they are shadows? maybe if you use something from the train itself..or something that appears in the 1. scene while he's still at the boring-old-work and takes home for no reason (which he finds useful in the train scene).
the ending - where do we see the blood? on the train or on him somewhere? i don't know about the ending. i would do something like - he blinks a couple of times and while he blinks the train cart is switching from shadow creatures scene to empty cart to full cart and it's switching back and forth so it becomes really hectic at one point. and then - everything stops and he sees the world as it is in reality, but he's the only one freaking out and everyone else is still the same and just riding the train not caring (as it usually is in subways) + then you have kind of a visually rounded story. and then you have the getting off the train with the blood thing. i don't know. i would do it like that. everything is kind of normal and he thinks he was imagining everything but in the final scene we found out that it isn't.
sorry if this is too much. of course you don't have to take everything into consideration if you don't want..AT ALL ! :)
i got inspired by your voice and just started writing hahahaha :D
and yes lots of rim lights...
ReplyDeleteof course.
I agree with Kate's ending :-)
ReplyDeleteAlso when you pitch your story its a bit of an indication of the length so try to time it when you tell the story...draw stick man and place it in premiere so you have an animatic. :-)
I was fun just watching you talk like ur sitting infront of us again, we should all make a live action blog ;)
we should all POST OUR PROJECTS too femma! :P
ReplyDeleteIn reality he is killing the people in the train but because he is alucinating (too much work fucks your mind) he sees shadowy, misty creatures. when he slices them the creatures just disapper like smoke, mist. I took Kates idea about her character beeing an animal, into thought and why not make everyone animal??? like Comic Blacksad?!?!? What do you think? I mean they wont have any big animation. they will be mostly be still. The reason for this is maybe makes the story more interesting. I mean now that I think of it with humans looks a bit dull. Tell me what you think.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS ANYWAY ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGW0aQSgyxQ
ReplyDeleteI think you have to change the title...sorry :)